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Sun, 23 Mar 2008 19:56:04 GMT

Jumping on the bandwagon and doing the damn thing.

http://silt-is.blogspot.com.

The name comes from an episode of Doug that is basically a metaphor for my entire life.

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 16:37:41 GMT

I'm not writing in this anymore.

Partly because it lost its steam eons ago and partly because I've lost the time and energy needed to fuel it. Either way, if I'm to get into the rhythm again, it'll only feel right if the pages are blank.

I'm absolutely not done keeping an online journal, though. Never will be. There are just times when it's important and times when it's not.

I'll let you know when it is.

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 07:35:00 GMT

I have absolutely no idea why I'm picking now to write in here. I have every intention of scrapping this journal for a new one in only a few days.

I'm in Dublin, travelling all the way to the top of Northern Ireland today, and heading off to Amsterdam tomorrow night. I'll be seeing Battles on Sunday which I'm shitting for.

Yesterday was really hard to get through, but I ended up going to the Jameson factory and was picked for a taste testing. Afterward, I was presented with a certificate that says I am now officially an Irish Whiskey expert.

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 19:35:53 GMT

No disrespect, but fuck every single one of you that will be seeing Aesop Rock on tour this coming fall.

I've been waiting for this with bated breath for the past six years, but cannot attend because, for the first time in my life, I will be living abroad. I leave just a few days before his first tour date and return just a few weeks after the last.

I sobbed for nearly 45 minutes when I found out. All selfish, jealous human emotions live inside me. I should be there, not you. I deserve it. Me. But I can rationalize the unrealistic nature of these sentiments. I feel foolish for even thinking them. I feel foolish writing this. This stupid livejournal named for his words.

I haven't written here for months and have not felt compelled to until just now. If you are ignorant to what has been happening in my life and head for this time, whether you see me on a regular basis or not, the fact that Aesop Rock is finally touring now that I will be living out of the country for the first time in my life - Aesop Rock, who I have revered and absorbed and lived by since I was 15 - is a really great, perfect analogy for how I feel about my life and myself as of late. Work it out.

Where's my voice?
I hate my face.

Sun, 15 Apr 2007 14:39:00 GMT

Does anyone know how I can possibly see the Ying Yang Twins at MIT on April 27th? Is this like ... an MIT-only thing? If so, why. They need me there.

On a side note, I'm writing a show and I was thinking about it and I really want to be the kind of person who people want to work for. Not like being a director is like being a manager, but I've had so many shitty managers, I just want to be the opposite.

Last night I took a shot and chased it with Pepto Bismol. That may be the definition of poverty.

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 18:23:50 GMT

I should have done work, but I listened to hot jams for three hours instead.

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 15:12:41 GMT

I finally realized I'm not scared of things like I used to be. I don't shy away from having to do things for myself. I'm not sure where I'll live when I come back from Europe in January, but that's fine because I know it'll work out.

I'm also pleased that I instinctively refuse to deal with bullshit now. There are so many things I dealt with in high school so life could be peaceful, but fighting instead of ignoring can definitely end positively. It's especially helpful when you know you're in the right and those around you are endlessly supportive.

I've been in a rut, but my show goes up this weekend and I've started to write for pleasure again and I'm going to try to take a summer class and I have an interview today that could mean I will have the opportunity to spend five weeks this summer getting paid well for doing something I enjoy (training actors and directing a show). If all this comes to fruition, I may just have a fragmented but fulfilling four months in Boston.

Sat, 07 Apr 2007 14:32:50 GMT

Last night I verbally abused two people I didn't know in public settings.
It was that kind of day.

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 14:51:20 GMT

It's exciting to think that after eighteen years in one place I have the privilege to live in all these other places.

My grandmother wrote in a birthday card to me:
"Now you are little and now you are not."

Now I am here and now I am there.

So, I will be in Cambridge for the next five months and then I will be in Europe for four and then I will be here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1942.

Mon, 19 Mar 2007 16:53:24 GMT

"In the same way that The Lion King has similarities to Hamlet, The Lion King 1½ has similarities to Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead. Timon and Pumbaa are the leads instead of the minor characters they are in the original, while the Lion King himself (Simba) plays only a minor role. The film follows the adventures of the comical duo while the events of the original film occur in the background, and sometimes coincide with each other."

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 15:15:15 GMT

For some reason, after six years with contacts, my eyes are rejecting them.
Someone help me find new glasses.

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 18:50:01 GMT

ALSO.

I had one of the most frustrating experiences of my life the other day. It involved sitting on the floor in Second Time Around, as close to a mirror as possible, trying to put my monroe stud back in. Then, it fell out again the same day, in front of Piano Row. As a result, I have a really good feeling for changing my piercing. Well, except, one of my backs fell down the sink today and I don't know how because I covered up the drain.

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 18:30:53 GMT

I'll be in England from March 1st to the 12th. With probably a few days in Amsterdam somewhere in between.

Just putting it out there.

Fri, 23 Feb 2007 17:54:38 GMT

All these people were in Jake's house last night and I loved them all.

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 20:35:51 GMT

This weekend made me realize it's necessary to visit NYC at least every six weeks.
It is not, however, necessary to lose my wallet as often as I do.

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 18:04:00 GMT

Bought my tickets to London to visit my parents in March. Officially going abroad for the first time. I should probably get a passport??

Having that on the horizon brings all my thoughts to spending fall semester in the Netherlands. It was a moment of whimsy when I applied and I think it's really funny that I'm actually going through with it. I am not friends with or even know anyone else who's going, but I'm still going through with it. As much as I love Boston, as much as I love cities, as much as I love and feel comfortable with my friends, I can't help but feel excited about a semester where I won't be able to predict a thing. I like the idea that I can spend a semester experiencing isolated, small town college life, but go literally anywhere I want on the weekends. Just feel, smell, touch, see everything. I knew when I began college that I wasn't going to spend every semester in Boston, but I didn't know that this city would trap me. I feel stagnant creatively, mentally, culturally. The moment I applied to go abroad was a moment in which I knew I needed a breath of the opposite college experience to shake me into the reality of this life. To show me that there are pieces of this world I'll never know, but I can live within for a few ridiculous seconds. To get drunk all over Europe. To appreciate the opportunity being offered to me. To say, "Fuck what I know right now. Fuck being comfortable. I'd rather be uncomfortable."

I was wary about spending money to travel this spring break, but what else could possibly be worth that money? Plus free room and board. OKAY.

My intense materialism, egotism, and depression of the near past has me searching for something a little deeper.
Oh, I got a monroe and I look fly as hell.

Sat, 03 Feb 2007 13:23:54 GMT

I'm getting a monroe on Sunday.
My mom is a calligrapher and is willingly designing my tattoo.
Work is eating me alive.
I read a book that changed many of the ideas I've held about nutrition.

I wrote my mom this long e-mail about how I missed her and wanted to visit England for spring break and her response was:

PLEASE COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:)

Either that, or I'm going to California. I'm doing SOMETHING for Spring Break. I can't be here. For the first time, I'm feeling really suffocated by this city.

I capitalized Spring Break once. Now twice.

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 14:55:19 GMT

I saw Girl Talk at the Middle East last night (with practically everyone I know and love from Boston) and it was probably one of the most important experiences of my life.

I'm transitioning jobs right now, which is taking its toll on me, but no matter what, this semester is going in the right direction.

Sat, 13 Jan 2007 15:22:36 GMT

My head sort of hurts, but I can't stop laughing because seven of us played beer jenga and had a dance party last night and the cops came. Easily the best night I've had since moving to Cambridge.

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 22:16:41 GMT

I watched The Painted Veil again today and now I have to wait until it's released on DVD to see it again. So annoying.

Sat, 23 Dec 2006 16:16:32 GMT

My grades for this semester came out B+, B, A-, B+.

With the nature of my classes, I easily could have gotten straight A's (perfectionist talking). But, considering the way this semester unfolded, I'm lucky I came out the way I did. I have everything to be proud of.

Glad that's over.

Thu, 21 Dec 2006 19:51:25 GMT

Everyone watch this:
http://pages.emerson.edu/students/j/jake_viator/vm120final.mov

I'm in it, but that's not why I think it's brilliant.

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 08:29:12 GMT

One exam left. I like the fact that there's only one school-related thing left to focus my attention on, even though it is a daunting one.

To be noted: I am actually looking forward to returning home. Probably because it's for 10 days rather than a month. Probably because it means no work, no class. But, really, I'm looking forward to seeing my family, which is, unfortunately, something I'm usually indifferent to. I think the fact that my parents have been living out of the country has somehow rendered them more desirable.

I also need to step back, look in. In a different way and for different reasons than I have in the past.

John leaves tomorrow and I can't believe it because I adapted to his presence so seamlessly. His presence also brought Melis into my life every day rather than once every so often and that really made it clear to me how her consistent appearance in my life is a form of sanity. Tonight I just kept thinking that I have found some sort of family here.

I might stay in Cambridge until I can clean and organize my entire room. I don't want to be alone in Boston while he's flying away from me, but it's kind of necessary.

Everyone come to Boston for New Year's.

Tue, 12 Dec 2006 11:38:52 GMT

Sucks that I have to abandon my life for the next week to do schoolwork.
SO. STRESSED. OUT. ALS;FJKILWJF;ILE
I stayed up all night for a paper that I'm not even finished with. I can't figure out if I just care too much that the paper sounds good or if I'm paper-writing rusty.

The plan is: fucking finish that paper tonight, hand it in tomorrow morning so it's out of my fucking face. Study for final on the 19th tomorrow afternoon and do the (thank God) small things due on Thursday. And, spend tomorrow evening chilling out because I fucking want to. And, yeah. I don't know why now, but I have really not been this scholastically stressed since I've been at college.

I really really just want to spend time with the people I love that I won't see for far too long after this semester ends.

I want to Pho.

Mon, 11 Dec 2006 20:37:38 GMT

As of now, my semester is over in eight days.

I'm wondering where this semester went, but the way it's turned out, I don't really care. Or, maybe I do because I wish I had been more efficient, more responsible, more aware? It doesn't matter because all I have is 20 or so hours to write a ten-page paper, a two-page paper, and a four-page paper. The last two are kind of bullshit "This is my opinion" papers, but regardless, it sucks. And, I have to go to work tonight.

The point is, I will be happy, after my last exam on December 19th, to take a fucking breath.

The worst part is knowing I won't be sleeping tonight.